WORRY IRONY
3:47 PM
Yes. The title does rhyme. (so random).I don't know why I actually wrote that but i guess perhaps it's the confused feeling I am having it now. It's contradicting you know? I am worrying you worrying me and you are worrying me worrying about me. Okay, sounds ridiculous. But, that's the fact.
Sometimes I do things because I know you will feel better if I have done so, so I did it.
And today, you said something that make me cry. Tears just form the moment you said that. I admit I may feel a bit angry at start but after walking down to the void-deck and think over it, I am no longer angry but sad. I know you said it because you care about me.
Sometimes you say things not because you mean it.
And I know this is because you are concern about me. I know it. But do you know, I am also concern about you. I feel bad wasting unnecessary money, I feel bad making you worried, I feel bad not able to help, I feel bad about spoiling the atmosphere making it tense and awkward, I feel bad about having this stupid body, I feel bad about what lousy daughter I am. I feel bad. I feel bad. I feel bad. I feel bad. I feel bad.
Sometimes I just do it hoping your level of worry will decrease by a bit.
Even if it's a teeny weeny bit, it's worth it. I really hope you would have felt better. But I know actually most of the times you don't. You are even more worried after that. And I am worried that you feel worried over me. I always try to think for you and you always try to think for me. I just want you not to worry so much. I am alright. Really. I am.
You told me not to think too much over it, but I hope you have said it to yourself too.
I really hope you can worry less about me. Think for the rest of the siblings too. I am alright. Just like what you told me, don't worry too much. But I know this is hard to achieve because sometimes I can't convince myself too. But I hope you can sleep more and get rid of your eyebags and your headache or whatever. Just worry less about me, I think that will help a lot.
I feel that I am a BIG BURDEN of yours.
You don't have to carry the big burden around. It's not your job. I am heavy. Just let me down. I can walk myself, take care of myself. I will follow just right behind you if you let me down from your back. I am 16. I can take care of myself. I am no longer a kid. No worries. I can. Believe me.
Everything is going to be alright
I know things will be alright. Yes, it gonna be.